I have a treat for you! However, it’s one of those things where you don’t quite know where you are heading, why it’s so important and if it’s having an impact. That being said, if you dive in, you’ll begin to reap the benefits from Day 1.
So you want better sex – which means different things for different people. It could mean more frequency. It could mean less. It could mean better orgasms…or maybe two? It might mean lasting longer and for others, getting there faster. If only your performance anxiety and sexual shame did not get in the way!
Sensate Focus is a sex therapy technique that was developed in the 1960s by Masters and Johnson. It helps individuals to address performance anxiety, navigate the effects of sexual trauma, and generally enhance pleasure. There are two essential skills – 1) maintaining a position of curiousity and 2) when distractions occur, the ability to return to the sensory anchors.
However, if we just jump in bed and try these exercises, our implicit memory is going to bring all the existing patterns to the party. It is a practice un-learning and then re-learning. It requires rewiring the neuropathways and physiological responses. Yes, it takes time and focus, and my 21 Day Sensory Awareness Series will make it easier. It’s a series of mindfulness practices that are done independently, on a daily basis. The practices are primers for sensate focus in that you are practicing using anchor points including the breath, temperature, texture and pressure. Then, once you get in bed, your brain will have familiarity with the skills and you’ll more easily employ them in bed.
Below are our first 3 days…
Love what you’ve heard?
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