Could couples therapy enhance your relationship? Is your partnership in need of guidance and restoration?
We are never so vulnerable as when we love.
— Sigmund Freud
Marriage can be a safe haven, a secure base, a place to call home, or it can be fraught with heartache and disappointment. Oddly, it can, for some, be all of those at once. When we first get married, we really don’t know how our relationship will grow and change over time. For many, experiences of loving connection ebb and flow; for some they seem like a mystery. Truth is, most of us never gained an education in how to be in a long-term equal partnership. And each individual and partnership is so unique that there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
Create the kind of loving relationship that you dream about
However, the strength and security of your marriage has an impact on every facet of your life. When your relationship is going well, life is full of color and opportunity. When disconnection hits, everything can seem dark and grim.
Fortunately, there is a way to learn how to create the kind of love relationship that you dream about. Relationship therapy can be a great step to get you there. Would you like to take part in a soul-filled exploration and growth process that can help you to give and receive the kind of love that can bring out the best of both of you?
Life has many demands that can impact your marriage
Long-term love relationships go through phases of love. It often begins with infatuation and excitement. As it moves into commitment, marriage, and parenthood, the dynamic changes. So, feeling alone in a relationship is an unfortunate, yet common aspect of an evolving partnership. Children have a profound impact on us as individuals and make keeping a close to connection to our partners much more difficult. If we manage to figure that out, we then have to figure things out again when our children move into adulthood.
Additional factors may impact our connection, including health issues, depression, anxiety, and addiction. Differences in career goals, sexual desire, dietary preferences, political views, and religion can come between us. But the truth is that every relationship has differences and there is no such thing as a perfect match.
Fortunately, these differences do not have to create distance. In fact, they can bring richness and depth to a relationship. It’s simply, yet not so simply, about learning how to move past the surface issues and access the deeper desires of the heart. When we can access these desires, and live with wholeness in the company of one another, we experience the power of love.
When both partners are willing to engage in therapy and embark on a journey of discovering and learning to create a strong partnership, a powerful energy and strength can be created. In truth, even when one partner chooses to do the work, a relationship can change for the better. Heartswell offers you a clear roadmap to go from heartache to discovery to meaningful connection.
Couples therapy at Heartswell can help you find a new way together
WE BOTH WORK, HAVE YOUNG KIDS, AND SIMPLY DON’T HAVE THE TIME FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
When we allow our connection to slip away and don’t address it, trust and love erodes over time. We feel lost, we give up things we once loved. We even can slip into depression, anxiety, and addiction as a way of managing our pain. The pathway forward to bring our struggles honestly and openly to the table take ownership of how we feel and what we want.
The Heartswell model integrates the research and wisdom of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy as well as body-based somatic and energetic modalities. Sex therapy, as needed, can also be an important aspect of treatment. This integrated approach provides healing for the whole person, from the mind to the body. Incorporating the body is critical since so much of our emotional regulation, or dysregulation, takes place in our automated nervous system.
Additionally, we may draw upon the John Gottman method. Or, depending on the couple, we may explore how known or unknown spiritual aspects may be able to inspire greater connection in your relationship. Years of research from notable individuals including John Gottman, Sue Johnson and others have given us a wealth of knowledge and tools to draw from
Roadmap for Healing
Our model follows a clear roadmap with three phases. The first phase, Awaken, is to bring to awareness all of the thoughts, feelings, and desires that have been ignored or pushed away. In many cases we’ve either numbed out from these, pushed them aside, or resorted to blame and criticism of our partner. When we Awaken, we shed light on our deepest desires, along with these unhealthy patterns that have developed over time.
The second phase is Restore, where we reclaim all aspects of us and commit to embracing our core essence. This is a process of becoming whole again. Finally, we find the points where we can Connect around the new discoveries that have been made. As we draw upon our wholeness and join together, we can co-create the kind of love relationship that offers the safety and security we desire.
I am considering counseling for my relationship, but I still have some doubts…
I THINK THAT WE SHOULD DO INDIVIDUAL THERAPY INSTEAD OF COUPLES COUNSELING.
In some cases, individual counseling can help couples be more productive in therapy. It’s important that your individual and couples therapists are able to work collaboratively as a team toward a common goal. If you choose to do individual therapy for depression, anxiety, addiction or other issues, we recommend you do couples counseling concurrently. At Heartswell you can have both individual and couples therapists who are part of a dynamic integrated team and can offer you both as needed. We can help you determine the best course of treatment for you.
Many couples, especially living in Arlington, VA and the greater Washington, D. C. area, are in the same boat. It’s hard to conceive making a weekly commitment and having yet another thing take away time from the kids. However, this short-term investment can have a long-term impact. You can grow stronger as a couple, as individuals, and create a more grounded, healthier home for your children. We offer flexible early morning, daytime, and evening appointments for your convenience. Many couples choose to take off of work at a set, weekly time so that they don’t miss out on precious opportunities to relax and enjoy the family.
I DON’T THINK IT’S WORTH THE MONEY.
The healthier and more whole you are as an individual and as a couple, the better you’ll be able to navigate finances, career goals, and planning for the future. Also consider that the cost of an effective course of therapy can equate with the cost of a 10-day vacation. Take some time to consider the long-term benefits.
In efforts to give everyone access to healing we offer low cost options, budget friendly workshops, and packages. You can also read here to know what questions to ask your insurance about coverage.
It’s important to recognize that therapy is an investment in your future life satisfaction. Neglecting recurring issues can result in more costly problems including divorce, health issues, and unhealthy and costly ways of dealing with pain.
The healthier and more whole you are as an individual and as a couple, the better you’ll be able to navigate finances, career goals, and planning for the future. Also consider that the cost of an effective course of therapy can equate with the cost of a 10 day vacation. Take some time to consider the long-term benefits.