Are sexual issues complicating your love life? Are you and your partner experiencing roadblocks to greater sexual fulfillment?
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER
The sexual relationship you have with your partner is an integral part of your relational well-being and overall quality of life. And, even though you may feel brokenhearted or discouraged because of your experience, know that your sexual relationship, like any relational patterns, can change. Would you like to take part in safe, exploratory conversations about your sexual relationship to co-create a secure, meaningful, sexual connection with your partner?
Roadmap for Healing
Sex can be a safe, meaningful, relational adventure or it can be fraught with anxiety, shame and confusion. Sexual problems often tell us something about ourselves or our relationships. For example, you may struggle to trust and relax because of unhealthy relationships from the past. Similarly, you may have trouble dissociating from adverse childhood experiences. You may be internally conflicted and confused by what brings you pleasure, or even your own sexual values or ideals.
Sex can be a complicated matter for any couple
We are all sexual beings with arousal templates as unique as our fingerprints. The notion of healthy, meaningful sex can be elusive even for happy, connected couples. Additionally, in this age of sexual exploration, what’s meaningful or healthy has become vaguer and more difficult to define.
Other external variables can complicate sex for couples as well. For example, the media’s exaggerated portrayals of passion, along with pornography, leave people with misaligned expectations of what sex is like in a real-life, long-term relationship. Religious teachings may stigmatize pleasure and sex and leave one feeling guilt and shame over their God-given gift of sexuality. Furthermore, our society fosters unrealistic expectations for “beauty,” which can impact self-image—not to mention create impossible standards. Many individuals simply struggle to identify and successfully integrate their own sexual ideals and values into their sexual relationships.
Conversations about sex can be difficult for many couples, especially when there is conflict in other aspects of the relationship. Very few of us were taught how to talk about sex with our partners by our parents, teachers or friends. In a partnership, it can be hard enough sometimes just to decide what to eat in order to satisfy two people’s appetites—even more so in the context of sexual desires.
However, with the help of a caring and confidential sex therapist, you can break down emotional barriers and discover your own unique sexual personality. Working as a team, you and your partner can learn to embrace your desires, and each other, with confidence and empowerment.
Sex therapy can open up your relationship to new possibilities
Therapy is a space for you and your partner to identify and overcome challenges you face as a couple around sexuality and intimacy. It gives you the opportunity to explore some of the beliefs we have about sex, leading to increased awareness and acceptance. We take a stance that no one is flawed or broken, which allows us to honor both your desires and your struggles. As we let go of judgment, we open the doorway for discovery. Through this process we support you in co-creating a sexual relationship that fosters trust and safety, laying the foundation for relaxation, exploration and pleasure.
Sex therapy is an essential component of good couples therapy. In the beginning, we gently examine all aspects of your relationship. We’ll explore experiences within your family of origin, past relationships and events that have shaped who you are and how you bond in intimate relationships. We’ll integrate what we learn about your emotional connection before, during, and throughout our conversations.
The challenges that couples face in their sex lives are various and unique, and we target our approach to couples sex therapy accordingly. Whether your struggle is performance, low or high sex drive, anxiety, adverse sexual experiences from the past, betrayal, or addiction, we can offer you tools to help you learn to enjoy a meaningful sexual connection with your partner.
Throughout this process your comfort is key. There is no expectation that you be anything other than who you. Whether your desires or ideals are conservative or diverse, just come as you are and let’s explore together. Our goal at Heartswell is to help each individual become the best version of themselves. Your sexuality is a sacred and unique aspect of your individuality.
Sexual Issues can be challenging
Dealing with sex issues can be a challenging experience for anyone. However, with proper guidance, it is possible to enjoy a meaningful sexual relationship without having to compromise who you are. Sex can be a safe and exciting adventure filled with openness, love and diversity—free from shame or guilt. With a little guidance, you can enjoy a whole and profound relationship with your partner.
I have been considering sex therapy, but I still have a few reservations…
I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY SEXUALITY WITH A STRANGER.
I understand that it can be uncomfortable. After all, our sexual relationship is among the most intimate and personal aspects of a love relationship.
However, when we are talking together, you won’t have to expose every nerve or vulnerability. You can choose how explicit you want to be and how often our couples sessions are focused on sexuality. There are many ways to help you bond as a couple—and your comfort is key.
No matter your preferences, working with a professional and learning to talk about sex can offer you powerful insight into and real solutions for your situation.
I DON’T THINK SEX COUNSELING CAN FIX MY PROBLEM.
A majority of couples’ arguments regarding sex revolve around perceived incompatibilities; often, one partner expects sex more often, or both partners have conflicting sex styles and so forth.
I want to help you make the most of your differences while allowing you both to embrace your unique sexual personalities. Although it may seem discouraging right now, you can repair your relationship and enjoy meaningful, mutually empowering sex.
I AM ASHAMED OF MY SEXUALITY.
Our space is non-judgmental, compassionate and respectful of all. It’s a place of healing and understanding where you can let your guard down and completely be yourself. In complete confidence, we take care to make this process of self-discovery and exploration a comforting and rewarding experience. With our help, you can learn how your unique desires and sexuality can enrich your relationship and overall quality of life.